This is Yunie's blog.
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About Me
This is YUN.
14 June 1989
Gemini
Trying her goddamn best to be optimistic about life.
okay, no. Not really. Yet.
Go see her art over here.
Her organiser's over here.
Damn. I got a huge headache. owchie. My head's bursting. And I cant move a lot. It makes me feel like crying.
...
I might have been thinking too much, or maybe I was exerting myself with drawing, or the thunder and lightning was too loud, or maybe it was even the wierd salad my sis made just now. But what's bothering me now isn't this fucking headache.
It's this hollow feeling I'm getting. I don't know what, I don't know why; but it hurts. And it makes me feel like crying too.
...
Damn. I can't cry. I can't even force myself to cry. The most I'll get is sniffles and such. No tears. Total dryness.
Maybe I'm lonely. I don't know. Just now when I was in my room drawing like I usually do; I was suddely hit with this realisation: nobody ever calls me anymore. Nor do I bother calling them.
A lot has changed. Other than the occasional greetings I get on my phone, nothing else happens. I'd probably blame it on the holidays and everyone is out overseas or stuff like that, but it's getting lonesome. You may have lots of friends who you know but aren't that close to; and if you lose them what are you left with? Probably nothing.
I think that's my worst fear. Nothing. To have nothing left.
Thank goodness I still have Nina and Eisha, but Eisha is in another poly that's light years away and Nina is being taken away from me slowly but surely.
Like seriously, I was an empath, and I have felt it many times before when I brush against people in past experiences; and I know now that this thing is fairly common. It's a part of life that comes and goes and it's up to you to choose which is preferred.
I have seen lives either crumble or flourish just because of these choices and I HATE it now because it is happening to me. RIGHT NOW. It's horrible; and I'm wondering why does this happen? To so many people? And why must it happen to me as well?
I am thinking. Should I let her go and leave her clueless about what's happening to her and myself; or should I just tell her everything and hope that she and I could go through this together? Because I have been flipping through my dreambook recently, and I realise I must act and tell her soon because the signs are getting more and more obvious and true.
Oh and if you think that I am not making any sense in this entry, then I don't care. This is how I REALLY write in my private journal, and I don't really want to switch to my stupid 'oh-im-so-happy-and-random-i-make-me-fuckin-sick' attitude that you all know me for.
Oh and one more thing: I am discontinuing my other blog. It's just too troublesome to write on both at the same time. Even though my other blog is the one i usually update, I think I shall continue updating here.
And stop reading my updates if you think you don't understand a thing that I wrote on this entry. Because from now on everything shall be written in this way.
well, unless I feel high on chocolate or something like that. ^_^
So now I got to get to sleep, because my head hurts.
