This is Yunie's blog.
What are you doing here.
Don't worry, I won't bite.
Clicky the right to read me.
About Me
This is YUN.
14 June 1989
Gemini
Trying her goddamn best to be optimistic about life.
okay, no. Not really. Yet.
Go see her art over here.
Her organiser's over here.
Its beautiful. Its ike musical poetry. No other comment needed.
yunie blogged at 5:11 PM
Sunday, September 23
I just had a little idea for an animation. I hope it turns out okay.
Making storyboard now.
Wish me luck people.
yunie blogged at 10:29 PM
I hate getting mocked.
Its horrible.
Especially if your sisters do it to you plenty of times in a day.
Feels like a punishment of sorts, innit.
I'm just taking it all in and not caring anymore. I can't feel any.. thing.
Goodnight.
yunie blogged at 9:11 PM
Saturday, September 22
Happy Birthday Yumi Pong!!
I hope my birthdae present for you is random enough. XD
yunie blogged at 9:37 PM
Just in case they're wondering They've got us pinned terribly They don't believe our love is real Cause they don't know how real love feels You should know it's true Just now, the part about my love for you And how my heart's about burst Into a thousand pieces Oh it must be true And They'll believe us to soon Baby, it's fact That our love is true The way black is black And blue is just blue My love is true It's a matter of fact Oh, and you love me too It's as simple as that Baby, our love is true
They may say some awful things But there's no point in listening Your words are the only words That I believe in afterwards. You should know it's true Just now, the part about my love for you And how my heart's about burst Into a thousand pieces Oh it must be true And They'll believe us to soon Baby, it's fact That our love is true The way black is black And blue is just blue My love is true It's a matter of fact Oh, and you love me too It's as simple as that Baby, our love is true
Baby, it's fact That our love is true The way black is black And blue is just blue My love is true It's a matter of fact Oh, and you love me too It's as simple as that
Baby, it's fact That our love is true The way black is black And blue is just blue My love is true It's a matter of fact Oh, and you love me too It's as simple as that
Baby, it's fact Our love is true Baby, it's fact Our love is true Ohhh Baby, it's fact Our love is true Baby, it's fact Ohhh Baby, it's fact Our love Our love is true
yunie blogged at 7:56 PM
I always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day And make it okay
I miss you
yunie blogged at 6:26 AM
I still cant sleep.
yunie blogged at 1:20 AM
Friday, September 21
I am physically and mentally drained now.
Had a long loooong talk with dad about the future. Apparently he's worried about finances and the economy taking a turn for the worse in the future and was wondering how I would handle it.
I have absolutely no idea. And so I asked my dad to try explain to me about business and stuff. I was all very confusing to me actually. I tried my best to concentrate and understand all the things daddy's trying to explain; but I am too slow to comprehend whatever he was saying. I understood bits and pieces here and there; but overall I still couldn't get it.
This is probably a part of me that I hate. No. I LOATHE this part of me. I feel that am too slow to catch up on things that are otherwise very obvious. I hate it. I always try my best to be quicker and grasp the concepts of things but really. I really seriously can't. Up to the point where people would sigh and then try their best to explain to me what they deem as the most obvious thing in the world to them. (Its like DnD, but I am really getting the hang of understanding that one. Really!)
I hate myself. I hate having people roll their eyes and then try to explain to me the most obvious thing in the world. Though I do appreciate the effort taken. Its prolly very difficult to hang out with me because of that. And I never liked those who don't bother to explain anything at all. Though those people are rare and far between I'd say. And worst of all, I hate myself for being so dense and stupid because of this.
So yeah, back to my dad. He tried to explain, and I tried to comprehend. I failed to understand anything. I was already very irritated at that point. Then he goes on to explain about how he thinks that I should go and get a degree like my cuz Amaliah(the one who guest-blogged a couple of entries back) and maybe that way I can feel more secure in the future in case I lose my job. Im more like wth???!?! Amaliah is taking a more expensive and similar course to mine and you want me to take it? Its like me retaking my course for another four years!! And then he starts saying that I should try and get a degree in other industries like science or engineering. Not animation. No, he wants me to take up animation as a backup.
I took it as a betrayal lol. I was already extremely irritated doing all the housework in the house and helping mom with the laundry and cooking and everything and then he comes and sits down next to me while I was busy folding clothes and he comes and starts telling me about how he wants me to work hard in something else that I can never be good at.
Seriously; PHARMACEUTICAL SCIENCE?! Where is my future in that??! I can never see myself studying medicine; and I don't think I can ever be good at that. Eisha, maybe. but not me.
And so dad tried to make his point by saying that if I take up a degree in something other than animation; it might do me good as it might prove to others that I can be versatile and can do different job scopes and wadnot.
Then he continues to explain that he doesn't mind spending money on my education and as long as I do whatever it takes to be a versatile daughter and I still have a long future ahead of me and I don't need to worry about petty things like having boyfriends or having a good social life because what good does all that do if in the end you still suffer in the future because of the stupid economy and its ups and downs?
Maybe that's why he and mom has been so against me going for camps and going out with friends. And the rule of having no boyfriend. But I still find it sad.
Because I can't get angry at them at all. I find no reason to get all worked up about it. But really, having no social life? I do not plan on that happening.
But the way my dad explained it all to me; he sounds like he's disappointed in me or something. Like he never wanted me to turn out this way. He kept comparing me to Kak Dila, and how she is still continuing her studies from jc to NTU to nus and university of london.
I wanted to finish this diploma, and that's it. Go get work and settle down maybe. Or maybe go see the world for a bit then settle down here. But he wants me to continue studying, and in a maybe different course or more.
I want to continue studying in animation. But slowly I'm realising that maybe Dad is right. That maybe I should get another degree. That degree would be my backup instead. But the time taken to get that degree, and the money, and all the effort I need to do well in it... I think I'm slowly getting mindfucked.
I don't know what to do. Somebody save me.
I really really want to talk this out with someone. And discussing my future. Or our futures. I really really need this someone right now. I want someone to just come here and save me; I want someone who can just come and comfort me.
I really am a selfish bitch. I hate me. I always talk about myself, I don't seem to care what others think about me, I really don't know what I should do to change this. I am so weak.
Fuck it. I HATE me.
I am not writing all this down in my blog to expect any sympathy or anything along those lines from readers. Though I doubt I have any readers at all anyway. I just needed to get this off my chest.
Too much expectations. I am really really exhausted now. And yet I am not sleepy.
And still not one word from him.
Maybe that's why I feel so down.
I miss you Mohammad Hafiz. I want to talk to you but ure not replying. Talk to me if there's anything. Anything at all. I may not be able to help but I can and will be here for you you know.
yunie blogged at 11:07 PM
Thursday, September 20
Great day today.
Met up with nin and we played guitar and watched anime in the audio room. The dance is going well; and hopefully we can teach the others that dance soon..
After that went to buka with Fizz. Nin kept bullying me about that. "Date! Date! Wooooohoo yeah!" >\\\<>
yunie blogged at 11:20 PM
Wednesday, September 19
Hello. How is everyone doing? So it is me again, Amaliah. We are painting now and Ayun ask me to blog, so here I am. Well, since I have no idea what to blog about. Let me just intro myself to you people who do not know me. Hahas. That will do, right?
So once again, my name is Amaliah. Ha! I am 17 this year. So young right? I know. I am currently studying in Lasalle SIA College of the Arts. I have interest in arts, music, gigs, theatre, especially musicals, sports & adventure, psychology, volunteering and of course shopping! Ha! Well, I am part of National Youth Council, Singapore Teenage Entrepreneurs and People's Association Youth Movement. I use to work with FJ Benjamin as a sales associate and B. H. Ind Pte Ltd, Media Company as a model. Okay, all that was not necessary but I really have no idea what to type about. So Ms. Ayun told me to type any random thing that comes out of my mind. So yea. I listen to almost all kinds of genre and I've yet to find out more in music. Ha! Well, jazz and alternative is my all time favourite. Indie or electronic when I put on my dancing shoes on the dance floor and some screams or hardcore when I feel like it. Not forgetting R & B and some soul to add a touch of sweetness in life.
Well, i write poets too that turns into lyrics for a friends' band. Here is one of them.
The pain that rages my heart I live with day to day; A sorrow deep within my soul, That never goes away.
The smile I use to mask my pain, Hides tears no one can see; For the tears I shed alone at night, Are seen by only me.
I hide behind a thin facade, A clown on masquerade, Seeking laughter as my balm, In a haunting, sad parade.
Behind the makeup of the clown, Is a shattered heart of glass; Look deep into the eyes and see, A pain filled, sorrowed past
I walk through clouds of sadness, And drift on seas of pain; Picking up the shards of heart, Seeking wholeness once again.
Alive in constant memory, Across the distant miles; There is solace for this heart, and the key to this clown's smile.
And though the days are empty, And years stretch forth in pain; A hope, a dream is still alive, That I will be whole again.
Alright, that is so emotional but well songs are meant to be emotional don't they. Okay, my parents are here to fetch me back. So take care all. God bless. :))
yunie blogged at 11:39 PM
Hurhurhurs.
Yumi's Bdae coming soon. Wondering what to get her. Maybe me Fizz Rino Ris can collect our $$ together and we can buy something random for her. She lieks random stuff right. XD
This is just a random thought for a random morning. Almost missed the time for the morning breakfast. Mum said we got 5 minutes left; so we all rushed through our meals 'cos the food looked delicious... It was fried shrimp okay. Damn yummy.
Amaliah was there as well. We shared a plate and we started inhaling our food. I peeled all the shrimp nicely-nicely but my cuz just went NYAM NYAM NYAM on the shrimp, skin and all. Like whoa.
After that I inquired her, and she said 'I tot got no time left so I just eat anyhow anyhow la! At least the food still good!'
So true.
yunie blogged at 5:59 AM
BOOYAH!
Firstly I am Khairun's cousin, Amaliah. Blogging on her behalf. Yes I am Guest-Blogging on her blog. Haha. :))
Well, simply what she did today was going to school and slack with Nina. Is that right? I think so. She then met me after school. Went over her place to break fast and to help me with my projects. THANKS A LOT! I LOVE YOU! Ha!
10 more different sketches and painting and still the 3D art to do!! gogogo!
It is 2.48 AM now. She just went off for her nap while I am here blogging for her. I have no idea what else to type so till then, take care people. God bless.
yunie blogged at 2:49 AM
Sunday, September 16
It's 12.32 PM right now.
And I am not hungry, not tired, and I have nothing to do. I FEEL SO RESTLESS. ARGH.
I hate it when people call me differently. Take my dad for example. When he wants me to do something for him he just says 'oi do this' or 'oi do that'... And that's only for me. My older sis gets too be called her name 'Dila' and my younger sis gets 'Siti' but what do I get?? 'Oi.'
Its a little unfair isn't it? 'Oei can you wash the dishes and after that do the laundry??' ARRGH. I am NOT 'Oi'! And when dad wants help for something he calls me 'Khairunnisahhhhhh~~~ help me here pleeease~' in a sort of funny sing-song voice that irritates me beyond reason. Plus when I reply 'yes dad ya called?' he usually can't hear me the first time so he'd keep on calling and calling my name out.
"khairunnisaaaah~~~('yes dad?') oiiiii khairunnisahhhhh~~~('yea you called?')khairuuunnisaaah~~!!' 'DAD I'M HERE!'
And then he stares at me wondering why I'm yelling.
Being called Froggy is okay. Most people call me that. Some others that are closer to me call me Ayun. I'm okay with that too. I like being called Ayun and Froggy. I'm used to those two names. Being called Khairun means business. For interviews and/or important people I will use that name. Not Khairun Nisah. That just sounds like people don't know me at all. I never respond to Nisah. Don't know why. Haha. I'm rambling again.
I played the guitar a little. Learnt how to strum, play a few chords... But I still need practice. The chords I play sound so bad I think my sister gets nightmarres with those sort of sounds. 'twanggGGgGgGggggggg!!!!' Yeap.
Mama and I just came back home from the market. With crab. (it's chili crab tonight baby~!!) And a new trolley. It's much smaller, and i can easily carry it up and down the stairs. That's good. But that means all the groceries mama buys keep overflowing out of the trolley and I'm stuck carrying them throughout the journey from the market to my place. =.=
Nasi Jagung with chilli crab and dalcha and ayam masak merah tonight. Or maybe if i feel lazy I think it's just roti john. hmms.
And another thing. I came across an old CD of some NASA videos from a long time ago. Got them from the science centre... about 7 years ago i think. And dad saw the CD and went 'I WANNA WATCH DIS LETS WATCH DIS'
Like a little kid, hurhurs. And in the end he watched all the videos of how aeroplanes and aircraft was invented and how its being improved every time until it becomes an aircraft suited for outer space. Watched all of them. He must like airplanes a lot.
Speaking of airplanes, Hafiz is in aerospace!! *dances* I miss you dood. Happy 8th month anni~ XD
And all this is happened within this morning. Now is 12.50PM, and Froggy signing out~
Ciaoz~~~
yunie blogged at 12:54 PM
Friday, September 14
Its finally over.
Joy to the world. Now I can have my much-needed sleep and wadnot.
Interesting day today. Lots of laughs; prolly 'cause the pressure of deadlines on everybody has lifted. Kept singing I'm yours by Jason Mraz. Nice song.
My class laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed. I am finally done with my presentations and everything so I couldn't stop laughing. No more sleepless nights working. No more concentrating like siao. No more cel-shading the same thing over and over again. No more.
AND I GET TO HAVE MORE SLEEP! No wonder I was so jolly and happy. But i want to share de joy wit him but he never replied me at all this evening. I guess its either he went to sleep early or he's forgotten about his phone. Oh well. Either way, I miss him.
HI HOW ARE YOU. I AM FROGGY AND I THINK I NEED TO SLEEP. YESYES SLEEP IS GOOD.
yunie blogged at 11:05 PM
Thursday, September 13
I hate photoshop. it likes to cock up on me.
And I still got lots to do for my Stopp.
......
...sianz.
Fasting now. First day. whoopee.
yunie blogged at 5:17 AM
Monday, September 10
Horrible la dis world. I just realised it.
How slow am i?!
yunie blogged at 8:40 AM
Friday, September 7
I got tagged by Yong Cherng!! Actually no I took from his journal entry. eheh.
The Rules: The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things/hates about yourself" and people who get tagged MUST write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things/hates as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their tagboard and tell them to read your journal...
here we go ~
1. I fail at singing. I can't sing well.
2. I used to eat random objects; but now i am TOTALLY off them. YESS!!!
3. Eating hot or spicy food makes me cry.
4. I want to learn how to play the guitar. Someone teach me.
5. I am always too lazy to draw even though I know I can do it real quick. I think in short it means I procastinate?
6. I SO love Hafiz right now.
yunie blogged at 9:20 PM
http://www.projectoffset.com/game.html
I want to play this game!
yunie blogged at 11:54 AM
Thursday, September 6
I want to learn how to play the guitar. Real bad.
I hope the internet can teach me how to play soon. I have an idea; and I hope this idea would work out well. Yeap.
yunie blogged at 9:13 PM
Monday, September 3
Can I cry now?
Storyboarding; shading lightbox helping everyoneout ithink I'mgoing crazy and I don'tknow how to stop thisfuckeduplifefromgoingworseandworse and worseandevenbadderthan that.
Its been three days of little sleep. I sleep aat 4 or 5 am in the morning to finish up my work and also to help and do other people's work. They need my help; so I did.
Ilaizah's logos and freddie's design and yumi's storyboard and carmen's shading and hafiz's wash plates at wedding and sha's commission and shannon's pixie and the interview and assignment 2 of PcomDI and my own shading and coloring and my mood board and my storyboard and Flash being all crazy on me and ALLTHEOTHERSHITINTHISWORLD.
Damn. Mood board. shit.
And my only source of comfort is claiming to be dating another girl at the moment. I can't even tell if he's joking again or not 'cause I'm too stressed out to think straight. I try to ask but it always ends up with me being speechless.
I need a shoulder to cry on, dammit. But I don't want just any shoulder.
I looked up to look for the moon; but it wasn't there. The sky is just dark and just...black.
Whats happening? My mind is all fucked up and I can't think straightandIwantttocryohsobadINEEDtocryandIjustwanttotakeabreak.
