This is Yunie's blog.
What are you doing here.
Don't worry, I won't bite.
Clicky the right to read me.
About Me
This is YUN.
14 June 1989
Gemini
Trying her goddamn best to be optimistic about life.
okay, no. Not really. Yet.
Go see her art over here.
Her organiser's over here.
Tell yourself that many many. Only you can tell yourself that.
There's no one else out there that can make you feel proud of you other than yourself.
So give a pat on your back and say that you have done your best and if you haven't, try and try again.
It's okay, I am here to support you.
It's okay, I will always be by your side thick and thin.
It's okay, trust your instincts and believe in yourself.
It's okay ayun, I am here for you.
When no one else is there to cheer you on, there's still us to make sure you're able to keep going.
Don't forget that gorgeous hunk you know and love so much~. He's there for ya right? Give him a call and don't worry so much.
So show me a smile.
It's okay. You are strong, and you don't need anybody to tell you that.
Just remember: we are here. And we are with you. Don't fret or feel insecure. Be yourself.
Lots of love,
the other four.
P.S It's okay. everything will be just fine. we all know it.
yunie blogged at 10:28 AM
Friday, March 28
Nenek. I miss you.
I really really really miss you nenek. I still cry at night remembering you and your antics. And your cooking. And your talks with me in the middle of the night.
I just really really miss you nenek.
Aah. Emo moment. Shhhh.
yunie blogged at 12:42 PM
Thursday, March 27
My throat is sore. My nose itches. There's that pounding migraine at the back of my head.
Darn midnight fever. I hope I'll be better tomorrow.
If I get a fever during camp I don't care I'm gonna call fizzie non stop that night muahahhaa.
Sigh. The headache's throbbin.
Books actually calm you down. I'm so glad I went to the library. It's been almost a year since I last borrowed from you dear library. You're my escape.
Haha back to reading.
Adios.
yunie blogged at 7:21 AM
Sunday, March 23
I just realised how fun painntchat was.
Cheered me up.
But then as quickly as i got cheered up, the quickly i slipped back.
Sigh.
yunie blogged at 8:46 AM
Saturday, March 22
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one, but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing. Beneath lies no complacence. Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope, and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to, I'm afraid to. I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing and that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within. So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say.
I don't like hiding. I don't like playing superficial phony games. I want to stop playing them. I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings-- very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator-- of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic, from my lonely prison, if you choose to. Please choose to.
Do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.
Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
~Anonymous
Emotional abuse is very common.
yunie blogged at 10:49 AM
Tuesday, March 18
Feevar.
But its the odd kind. I feel sick, but at the same time I feel a lot lighter.
Like a burden has lifted and all is well in the world.
...
Wahahah. I think I know why.
PROJECT TWO IS ALMOST OVER!!!
YEaH BABY!
Just gotta hand the stuff in tomorrow and we're done.
Stupid flu. I can't breathe through my nose.
yunie blogged at 10:06 AM
Monday, March 17
yeeeeeah.
one more day till end of hell.
yeeeeah.
yunie blogged at 9:27 PM
Together forever
no matter how long
from now until the end of time
We'll be together
so you can be sure
that forever and a day
that's how long we'll stay
now and forever more.
This song reminds me of graduation back at secondary school. o.o
and to think this was a pokemon song.
yunie blogged at 10:55 AM
Sunday, March 16
Im just confused.
Everything's a question with no answers.
yunie blogged at 7:32 AM
Saturday, March 15
Pretty baby
don't you leave me
I have been savin' smiles for you
yunie blogged at 11:52 PM
I want to SCREAM. And SHOUT. And Yell.
Yeah. But I can't, because I have no time. This sucks big time.
Th chocolate had no taste just now. So I had it kept in the fridge for another time. Maybe when I feel better.
I can't wait for Wednesday. No more P2. Then I won't crack over the littlest things.
I might explode one of these days. This isn't healthy.
Hafiz baka. Baka baka baka baka baka. Super baka.
Grrroooaaaaaarr. Angry angry. Do you even know what day is the 16th?
yunie blogged at 11:25 AM
Friday, March 14
http://www.onemanga.com/White_Clouds/
Very pretty. Love the art style.
And all I want to do right now is to scream.
Run to a field or a big biig empty space and shout out loud.
I am planning to do a little animation based on this story. One day.
It's very sweet.
Will put the link soon.
yunie blogged at 8:47 AM
Tuesday, March 11
Do you know why I like to draw?
It's because things that can't be captured in a photograph or film can be drawn in a painting.
Like beautiful sceneries, the smile of someone encountered in the past, even draw out dreams.
And if a drawing I make leaves an impression in someone's heart, I'll be really happy.
It's a little something I look forward to when I draw.
hehe.
yunie blogged at 10:48 AM
what i think is the worst feeling to ever get.
shunned.
sickens me.
looked down upon. undependable. not trustworthy.
what would you do if people think of you that way?
yunie blogged at 9:38 AM
Sunday, March 9
Whatever I do, blogger refuses to upload pictures. I cant put up pictures of Saturday.
Fizzie's birthday party was fun. A bit belated, but a lot of people managed to turn up. I was late, as usual.
That's it man. I need to be early for once. What the hell heppened to disciplined old me?
She went poof.
So yes I need to be early for once. no, not for once. from now on.
Yes yes. I shall keep note.
So anyway saturday was tiring.
Morning, 6am prayers as usual. Then I went for a morning jog. 8am ngaji till 10am, but time was extended till 11am because of latecomers.
Went home to find out I have to follow my mom go market to help carry groceries. I needed to carry oil and 1.5L bottles and a big watermelon. aaaarr.
Was already tired, but gotta go to school to vector a bunch of drawings to color on Sunday, and that took up an hour. Finalised Hafiz's birthday card as well only to realise printing place in school was closed.
By that time it was 2 and I was already rushing for time. Ran to Kodak and found out printing costs 25 bucks. Panicked, ran to another printing place, which refuses to take my thumb drive.
I didnt know what to do then, and I cant not print the card, because I wouldn't want to have wasted all my efforts of putting the card tgt the day before. Ran to the interchange (yes I ran, the 291 bus was too slow) and found out the printing shop there was closed. Izzy said Yishu's printing place is also closed for rennovations.
Was at a loss of what to do. 3pm.
3.30 found a place called copyland near school. Was a rundown place but you can print an a3 picture for 2 bucks. can lah.
Plugged in my hard disk (omg i actually typed hard dick shit lol) and lagged the computer.
Took a bloody hour to print it, but I was too scared to leave the place and look for another because I have run almost everywhere in Tampines finding a good place to print just one piece of paper. Haha.
Then I ran to the interchange(again, because I missed the 291 so I took no chances of waiting) and took 969 to meet Izzy and friends who didn't know the way to get to Fizzie's place. Quickly bought presents for him, and off we went.
Fizzie's birthday party was cool. I never got to celebrate my birthday like that before so honestly speaking I was a lil jealous. haha. But as long as he's happy all is fine and dandy with the world. I'm real happy too. =D Birthday parties feel fun. It's like the day you get pampered or something. Which is something I never get at home. but what the heck ehh im not complaining too much.Till 10pm. near 11pm.
I went home.
But I was happy.
And then today.
I had a family outing. My dad in the end never went. He refuses to go. Family was the quietest. So we called in our aunts and cousins to come over to pasir ris park to enjoy.
Lucky some came.
It was small, but the food was good.
The sea air was nice as well. And I miss fizz now.
Haaaahahahahahaa. I laugh too little.
godnight. Will post pictures when blogger lets me.
Adios. =D
yunie blogged at 9:50 AM
Saturday, March 8
Today, is the dreaded family outing.
Wish me luck. Hahah.
I hope they like the sandwiches I made.
yunie blogged at 9:33 PM
Wednesday, March 5
Happy birthday dearest Hafiz.
May all your wishes come true with every candle you blow out. xD
one more day till end of hell.
The cake.
The early birthday boy.
The ready-for-ambush.
There was some problem with the candles...
And the happy early birthday boy. ;)